A little over a month ago we learned some devastating news. I laid in the ultrasound room, surrounded by doctors, residents and assistants...and I knew something wasn't right...in fact, I could tell something was really wrong. Nobody was talking. My doctor scanned, back and forth between baby a and baby b. Only one heart beat. We had lost baby b and I was flooded with feelings of guilt, sadness and emptiness. How did I not know? I felt like I let my baby down...like I should have done more but didn't... My amazing doctors (have I mentioned how awesome my repro docs are?) Were so compassionate. They took this last picture for me of our twins together and walked me out the private exit with a hug and tears in their eyes. Throughout the day my inbox was flooded with messages of support from my nurses,doctors and assistants. I spent the day at home, with Cody. We cried...slept...cried a little more add attempted to make sense of our loss.
We named him Flash. He was ours for a short time but we will love him for an eternity. Unfortunately, the sub chorionic bleed had grown and caused his placenta to detach enough to disrupt his supply of nutrients. Luckily it has since stabilized and us not threatening Harper at all.
We still see his little gummy bear body at every scan...and my heart aches a little every day missing my Flash. We are grateful tho that Harper is healthy and we can't wait to meet our little love.
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