Sweetness of a Different Kind

A sad email arrived in my inbox tonight.  The subject line simply read "Grandpa Taylor."  Only a little over a year ago we went through this same thing with Grandma Taylor.  Grandpa is unresponsive and not eating....the exact situation my grandma went thru in the days and hours before her passing.  Grandpa is 96 years old.  He has certainly had his share of time in this world, and in his recent years he has struggled with severe dementia.  I remember even at Grandma's funeral last year he seemed to have no clue as to what was going on or who we were even there for.  He made me laugh...When he smelled the food the ward had prepared for our luncheon he wouldn't stop asking when he could eat!  He always loved my grandma's food and she fed that man well!  At one point, I can't remember if it was before or after the service, but my heart melted ten times over.  He, in a moment of clarity which he hadn't had in months or even years, said "I'm gonna miss her, she was always so good to me."  The fact that he was hardly aware that he was at his own wife's funeral and didn't recognize a soul in the room when surrounded by family, friends and loved ones was blessed with a brief moment of clarity warms my heart over a year later.  I will never forget those words.  Sadly, those were some of the last words I ever heard uttered from his mouth.  Caught up in my own selfishness and my busy life lost contact.  He has spent the year since my grandma's passing in a home and will soon be transferred to hospice where he will spend his final days.  So here I sit...late at night...family sound asleep, alone with my thoughts.  And I remember our times together like yesterday.

I can hear the sound of our tires crackling over the gravel driveway and taking in the piney, clean, cool Prescott air.  I see him rocking in his chair anxiously awaiting our arrival almost every weekend.  I remember oatmeal with half & half and LOTS of sugar (a meal I still eat to this day).  I remember his pile of pills that my grandma provided for him daily.  I remember helping him in his garden of tomatoes and cucumbers.  I remember snowmen in the winter.  I remember his fascination with Christmas lights...his cold bedroom and the toasty living room.  I remember the square glasses on his face.  His Member's Only jacket.  His tan velcro shoes.  His fireplace...sitting on his lap.  I remember him making fun of me when it was "cool" to tie a sweatshirt around your waist even when the weather was warm and there was absolutely no need for one.  He'd ask if I was trying to hid my big butt....if only :)  I miss the Christmas lights....lights that made the news every year. Check out the sweet article linked below.  That story melted my heart :)  Looking back I took for granted so much and now I am left with regret.  But the blessing is in the gospel.  This is not the end.  It is only the beginning.

And my sweet husband calmed my sadness when his text in reply to mine with the news was simply "Baby, he is probably anxious to be with his best friend again."  How simple.  How happy that made me.  He will never know what those words meant to me.  So instead of feeling sadness and guilt or regret, I feel blessed and so happy!  Blessed to know the gospel gives us the chance to be with our families FOREVER!  And how exciting to think of the reunion between my grandma and grandpa.  His mind will be restored and he will recognize her and I can only imagine the sweet sweet happiness that moment will bring.

So...Grandpa is hanging on but his time is closer than we know.  I may not be ready to let go,  but he is.  He has left a legacy that I will never forget.  And because of his sweet and simple words at my grandma's funeral I will never take for granted my sweet husband.  Because he is...always so good to me.  Heavenly Father has truly blessed our family.  And so....when grandpa does pass...and I pray it be quick and peaceful...it will be sweetness of a different kind...He will be reunited with his other half...his better half...his best friend.  My grandma.

http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=892&dat=19861207&id=siNTAAAAIBAJ&sjid=rIIDAAAAIBAJ&pg=4227,1013096

“Love is the very essence of life. It is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yet it is more than the end of the rainbow. Love is the security for which children weep, the yearning of youth, the adhesive that binds marriage, and the lubricant that prevents devastating friction in the home; it is the peace of old age, the sunlight of hope shinning through death.”
― Gordon B. Hinckley

“In our old age my beloved companion said to me quietly one evening, "You have always given me wings to fly, and I have loved you for it.”
― Gordon B. Hinckley